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A Brief Summary of the Interlocutors’ Report on Kashmir: Shoaib Rafiq

April 25, 2012

This guest post by SHOAIB RAFIQ is an analysis of the Home Ministry-appointed group of interlocutors’ report on Kashmir 

We swear by the fundamentals of absurdism
of that all we have learned
our solutions will mimic the ludicrousness
that we employ in our education, research, and other related shit.

No sir, freedom needs a definition, an academic one
about independence, who could define that?
It’s a controversial-ized
contradictory
concomitant
concoction
and by the way, freedom and independence are two different entities
prior dependent on the relative flexibility of the two contemporaneous blotch(s)
within the marvelously designed context of coordinates, space and time
while the latter one acts as a diminutive module within the prior
there we go; now what do Kashmiris want?

Well, we would tell you what they want;
air, water, food (probably); how about
housing loans, iPads, tiled roofs; well yes
they want development
bilateral trade, you see;
build more roads, buildings
give them jobs, dig tunnels.
Trade should start from both sides
open the check-points, monitor them.

Talks are important, keep on with the engagement;
engage all sections in Kashmir;
and when we say Kashmir, we don’t just mean Kashmir.
Kashmir includes Jammu, Ladakh, PoK, Gilgit, Skardu,
Honolulu, Falkland Island, Baffin bay.

Important also is the say of Manmohan, Jagmohan, Rohan, Sohan,
Almardu, Sokardu, Gunanshu; of Mr. Robin,
Mr. Masharfan, Mr. Tenperson and others, and
their children and their toys; the Monkey,
the Donkey, one Bear and other Mules.

To comprehend our meticulously arduous task
to comply with the SOPs of the theories
we would need live samples of the assassinated,
maimed, bundled youth. See you all the next season.

(Shoaib Rafiq is a student.)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Subash permalink
    April 25, 2012 10:33 PM

    The summary of the report is enough, we dont want to read the report which might be very longwinded. dont have the time for such.

  2. April 26, 2012 8:24 AM

    why only of youth? samples of assasinated women, children and old people too. of raped and humiliated girls and women may be required too, . and will the story end there? no my dear shoaib. for those who want to keep power and cash in their hands, the agenda kashmir will still remain alive. for as long as we the common folk, the youth of both kashmiri muslims and hindus and christians and what not, do not join hands with the girls and women of their communities and fight together against violence promoted by those who cant live without power and cash…. come on join us in that process…

  3. Khalid J. permalink
    April 27, 2012 6:52 PM

    Hilarious!

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