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Rape is allowed because most people don’t know what it is: Anonymous

December 25, 2012

Guest post by ANONYMOUS

Rape is allowed because most people don’t know what it is.

To say that victims understand it is assuming too much. The immediate affect will be a deep, invisible wound. After years of counselling it will still hurt and terrorise. All the strength in the world, at the individual and existential levels, will fall short. Very often the crime will remain unreported. Rather than empowering women, the legal system will manage so few convictions that it will itself be the greatest perpetrator.

The perpetrators, as in the actual rapists, know as much or as little as the victims. They will go unarrested, unnoticed, unashamed, and this will fuel their psychopathy. They may or may not realise that rape is not about sex but power.

Lawmakers don’t know what to do about it. The most enlightened governments in the world manage very few convictions.

The media is excited about it the way it is about everything else. All the reportage and activism will serve a minimal, nebulous purpose and soon they will be reporting other monsters.

Protestors seek redemption by finding scapegoats, sometimes succeeding, often not. They bring the poor law and order situation into focus and get tear gassed, because they are considered a nuisance.

The victims know they will not be healed (if they don’t die of injuries or at their own hands). It will take years for them to understand the many ways in which rape will affect them, their relationships, their own children. A conviction may come as a consolation prize. Although there were years, according to crime statistics, when conviction occurred in fewer than half of the cases that were reported.

Capital punishment is touted as another possible solution by the most bewildered or angry but will do nothing to deter it: for example, the rape of a four year old child will not be prevented if the perpetrator is a family member because the vulnerability of the victim in such a situation is absolute. It will also not deter a man, who from years of suppression of sexual desire and lack of sex education exhibits the peculiar but socially accepted psychopathic tendency to look at a woman as an object for his use. And who has no notion of what abuse might be, even if he ends up in jail for it. And, sadly, several generations of men and women after him, won’t either. But since justice only ever appears to be done, hanging may be as good a solution as any. It might make some people happy even if not a single demon is exorcised.

Women will continue to protect rapist sons, fathers, and, sometimes, husbands. They know that to stand up to an abusive man within a family will change everything for everyone and that is exactly the opposite of what their training has taught them to do. That to ignore and deny, is probably best for everyone in the long run – and perhaps it is. Thus, the circle of injustice is complete.

There are men in the world (to say nothing of those in this country) who probably know better what to do with cars and cattle than with their own wives and daughters.

It’s only logical: rape will not stop.

(The writer is a rape survivor.)

*

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. December 25, 2012 10:02 PM

    Yes, it’s true that rape will never stop. But, a small doubt about ur perspective: people may not know what’s rape, but at least they can sense what they r doing is a kind of violent trespassing. Right?? So hw can it be justified like this???

  2. December 25, 2012 10:39 PM

    In the hysteria we are experiencing at the moment, it would be better to just spread the words like the ones in the post above by Anonymous. Society agitates demanding justice to the rape victim and the identity of the victim needs to be kept undisclosed as the same Society would never accept the person with the required openness : this is the irony. I would like to translate the above piece in Marathi for my blog, if Kafila permits. Is it okay if I go ahead with the translation?

  3. amina permalink
    December 26, 2012 10:23 AM

    This is not meant as any denial of the specificity of the experience of this person. I am a woman, have been sexually assaulted — not raped, and do understand the situation, in all its complexities. But really, why must we understand ‘rape’ at all? What is there to even understand? One’s body is violated, isn’t that enough? Why is there a ‘premium’ attached to this crime? And what of those who move on? Perhaps, for some there isn’t a deep wound at all. Perhaps, its something that happens, and then they get over it, in whatever it means for them. Of course, they want too want justice. They too want the guilty to be punished.
    Besides, it’s important to remember that even the way women understand or make sense of rape would be mediated by their class positions. What do women in the slums feel about rape? I once met a rape victim in a village in UP, who had been raped by the MLA of that area. Yes, she said, she had been raped. What’s the big deal, why do you look at me like that? she asked me. She even smiled in some of the photos that the journalists took of her. What then do we make out of it?

    • A male permalink
      December 26, 2012 10:11 PM

      Agree Amina… but its necessary to let those people understand who characterize the women as a substance to use or consider women just like an asset. perhaps there shouldn’t be any premium attached to it which showcase victim more then the culprit, but yes we need to establish equality beyond the present mind-set.

  4. win permalink
    December 27, 2012 2:01 AM

    “Do not forget that when the woman BJP leader made a terrible comment ‘ uski zindagi maut se badtar ho chuki hai’ (‘her life is now worse than death’), in Parliament, she was actually endorsing the Patriarchal value system that produces rape. To think about this a little —
    “Patriarchy is what makes you ashamed, not delighted when you have a period, because your traditions teach you that a menstruating body is a polluting body. Patriarchy is what tells you that there are things you cannot or should not do because of the way your body or your desires are shaped. Patriarchy is the secret to your nightmares, the reason for your deepest, most personal fears and anxieties. It seeks control of your body, your mind, your speech, your behavior, even the ways in which you raise and lower your eyes. Behind this lies a clear identification between property and the sexual body that patriarchy tries to perpetuate at any cost. When anyone says that a raped person, say a woman, is defiled, what they mean is that the violence done to her sexually is identical to the violation of their personhood, which ‘properly’ understood, is the property of someone who can legitimately ‘husband’ her body and being. Any woman, according to this view, either is, or will eventually become some man’s property. If she is ‘defiled’ she will become ‘broken goods’, the legitimate claimant to the property which her body constitutes will no longer have any interest in ‘husbanding’ her. That is why they say that her life, laid fallow and waste by rape, will no longer be worth living.
    “in the middle of all our anger we ought to strive to find a space to reflect on the force that patriarchy has over all our lives, and I hope that we will find the means, burnished by your anger to dethrone it from its underserved position of power anywhere it may be. I want ours to be the generation that changed this country forever. And i know we can make that happen,” –extracts from Shuddhabrata Sebgupta,s essay “Thinking about rape from India Gate
    Its now or never. A difficult task? Yes. Impossible? I don’t think so. It will be a painstaking yet strong understanding by which we could make our already miserable mundane lives a little more wirth living.

    • 4thaugust1932 permalink
      December 27, 2012 1:08 PM

      I think this a covert agitation by BJP/AAP against SC/ST Reservation Bill.
      No protests when Haryana Director General of Police, Rathore r…d and killed a 14 year old girl.
      No protests when a 16 year SC girl was r…d by 12 FC men in Haryana.
      Now media/students is protesting when a 23 year FC girl is r…d by 6 BC men in Delhi.
      Afraid to take your caste share of land as per 4th August 1932 Round Table Conference Resolution (Communal Award) and build your own nation. (googl/foY5g)

      • December 29, 2012 4:41 AM

        It is more about the effect that Anna Hazare has had on the youth of teh country. In 2011 Anna showed that it is OK and fashionable to get out on the street and protest. Throughout 2012, suddenly, youth have started coming out of their personal selfish concerns and contributing to social causes by protesting. This is not a conspiracy, this is the effect of Anna Hazare who has succeded in reminding people that they own the country.

  5. Nivedita Menon permalink*
    January 3, 2013 10:15 AM

    Anonymous, thank you for your courage in writing this. At one point in Europe, feminists came out en masse to state publicly they had gone through illegal abortions, as part of a campaign to legalize abortion. Now we need to work towards strengthening ourselves and transforming our spaces in such a way that the countless untold stories of rape and molestation can be brought to light by the survivors themselves (men and women) – and I count the young paramedic as a survivor, not a victim. And so that we can honour these survivors, like we honour Bhanwari Devi.
    In this context, here is a stunning piece by writer Sohaila Abdulali on her own experience of gang rape, published 20 years ago in the journal Manushi, and being recirculated at this moment in time.
    I fought for my life…and won
    What I find most moving in this account is her speaking up for her male friend who was held captive during the process. I’d like to take a moment to remember the young man in the Delhi incident, and honour his loyalty to his friend, and hope that he has help in living through his own feelings of guilt and pain.

Trackbacks

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